I made two major goals for myself at age 20. I suppose I would not necessarily characterize my major goals as “normal”. Some people at age 20 make reasonable goals for themselves like “Get a job” or “Get more fit”. More ambitious persons may have goals like “Make a million dollars” or “Give a TED Talk”.
The first major goal I made for myself was — To be Great and Nothing Else
Now, I’ve met many “perfectionist” type of personalities in my life. One of Webster’s definitions for perfect is: corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept. I acknowledge that there are other alternate definitions for perfect, but for all intents and purposes the one I shared is the definition I believe is most commonly used therefore the definition I’m sticking to in this blog.
Perfect is in the eye of the beholder, and there itself is the problem. Who’s ideal standard is it? For example, a parent might listen to a child’s music recital and think how perfectly the child performed. A principal musician from a well known orchestra might passionately disagree with the parent’s opinion.
Great, on the other hand, I feel like is fairly universal. A comedian tells a great bit, and the audience has a hell of a time. A book takes you on an emotional journey of a lifetime, you’d tell your friends its a great book. Great is something everyone else can tell because can’t quite put into words. Great evokes an emotional and poignant reaction, one of awe and amazement. Greatness inspires, empowers and transforms.
Now, some may say it is an arrogant thing for me to wish for. Arrogance is an exaggeration of one’s worth, an assuming superiority. Greatness simply is great. There is no end, just growth. Great is what I wish to be, and nothing else. I want to be great in my works, great in my conduct, great in my person, in my character, in every part of who I am.
To be great and nothing else — this is not an easy or immediate process but a painful and brutal process over the span of a lifetime. Rejections, failures, one after another. Pain and calamity befall my every step, which tear at who I am. But facing these tribulations, overcoming, learning and growing this is the requirement. A difficult inward process, resulting in the outward expression of greatness.
The second major goal I made for myself was — All roads lead back to me
Perhaps initially this may seem confusing, what does all roads lead back to me mean? Well, I want to be someone who creates and empowers positive change in other persons’ lives. Not from a transactional point of view, but a relational point of view. Impact not as a transaction, but impact from a relationship.
I love, cherish and care for my friends. There are many people I don’t know, and so I hope to become friends with them and care for them the same. It is through the giving and receiving of life in relationships which are the foundation of the roads I want to build.
Now one might find it hard to imagine how one can have so many friends. I say to that- no need to imagine, just do!
I think a good illustration to use is the yoke of an oxen. A yoke is a wooden beam which pair two oxen to work together through the field. The yoke makes it easier for the oxen to pull heavy loads. With my relationships it is me and my pal putting on the yoke working to make our dreams come true. A yoke for each pal.
Making one dream come true is a relatively easy task. Tens? or Hundreds? Doable over a few months. Thousands? Doable over a few years.
Let us be ambitious. I want to build a road to a million dreams made. This is how I will build a road in which all roads lead back to me.
