I’d like you to recall a time when you’ve had very little sleep, and you were in a particularly frustrated state of mind. What were some of those thoughts running through your head? “Ugh the person next to me is talking so loud, I’m having a major headache.” or “I honestly can not believe she did that just now.” What it boils down to, is that everyone else is the problem.
After you’ve filled your stomach, had a refreshing nights rest, the next morning something magical happens. The person who was talking too loud just the other day, you have absolutely no problem with. The person who annoyed you the other day, you are completely unbothered. Life is fantastic and there is nothing that can ruin your day. You are feeling awesome and you think those around you are awesome too!
These two seemingly contrasting scenarios are ones I’ve experienced more often than I’d like to admit. I’d be lying if I were to tell you otherwise. The common denominator in both these scenarios is me. The key difference is my attitude.
Emotions paint the lenses in which we see the world. How I’m feeling in a particular moment of time drastically shapes the way in which I see the world and more importantly the way I see others. When I’m feeling happy, full of joy, and well-rested, these feelings are also projected onto other people. When I’m feeling angry, frustrated or upset, these feelings get projected onto other people. It is incredibly easy to point fingers, at others who disagree with you, at the situation that is not pleasant, at the odds lined up against you. “These people are the problem.” “It’s because of this or that.” “There is nothing I can do.”
Blaming others is easy because I don’t need to fundamentally change who I am. “It is everyone else, not me.” All blaming others does is create toxic cycles of inaction, ignorance and fighting. Attitude is a choice. I choose to take full responsibility for my actions, for how I carry myself, and how I treat others.
Our immediate response towards a negative situation or negative person is to turn to our frustration, anger, doubt, whatever emotion comes to our mind. Our immediate response is to fixate, worry and doubt. Our immediate response is fear, and defeat. All of these lead to failure. Not only do we need to choose the right attitude, we need to have the discipline to exercise and express the right attitude. In the same way we exercise our bodies, we need to exercise our turning.
I’ve made the choice to take responsibility. I’ve made the choice to be better. I’ve made the choice to exercise discipline.
Who is to blame? Who is at fault?
Me.
